Em. 22, sociology student.
Lots of thoughts and stupid anecdotes.

A list of people frequently showing up in the stories:
-A. - a girl, my best friend and a flatmate. She's basically the reason I am so degenerated and I love her with all my heart
-K. - a boy, ex-flatmate, good friend. He's seen and heard a lot more, that I would like him to, but he's also a classy motherfucker and even if he claims otherwise, I think he loves me and A. as much as we love him.
*to add more*
Background Illustrations provided by: http://edison.rutgers.edu/

So here’s the thing.

Last year I met this guy (let’s call him R.), that was K.’s* (which was my flatmate at that time) classmate and a some kind of a friend. Of course we met at the party, because that’s where I usually met people, and I liked him. Not in a romantic way, besides he had a girlfriend back then. I just liked him, because he was nice and he took care of me, when A. left me alone.

Then he started to be a very frequent guest in out flat ( I still mean R.) and the more I got to know him, the more I started to hate him. At first it was just a little sarcasm and irony, then we started to fight with each other for real. It all ended by him not talking to me anymore. Then there was a summer break and now we started a new school year and things got pretty messed up.

Why? Imma tell you why. It’s because I’m stupid as fuck and I should not be given alcohol in any doses.

To be concrete, here’s a few more details:

  • R’s girlfriend broke up with him over the summer
  • he was madly in love with her
  • he had (still has?) a broken heart and was (IS?!) depressed for some time
  • he tried to get her back
  • she rejected him and as a matter of fact is laughing at his every attempt to get her back

So, when we now solved the girlfriend problem, I can get to a real action.

Last week we had some fun at R’s and our mutual friends’ apartment. Of course there was alcohol, vodka to be exact, and somehow everybody was extremely horny. So I kind of ended up with R in a locked dark room almost completely naked kissing him. And then *cough*blowing him*cough*. And let me tell you, that this was the best, that could happen, because the only reason we haven’t had sex, was that neither of us had a condom. So R said ‘We’re going to finish this on Monday’. Which is today. And I agreed to all of that. Not because he’s annoying and kind of closed-minded and self-absorbed person, but because he’s absolutely hot and has a very nice, big penis. And there’s a slight possibility, that underneath all of that hate I was always attracted to him. And fantasized about him. 

I was thinking about this all the whole weekend and I don’t know what to do.

In all that uncertainty, I went to the store and bought lubricant and sexy lingerie.

But I still don’t know, if I want to to that.

I can’t wait till the evening too.

But I hate him.

Is that story even make any sense? Do I seem shallow? Or stupid?